I May Have a Problem With Them.
I hate getting wet. I mean, I really hate it.
So, I seem to have what can be called an umbrella fetish.
I have huge umbrellas for sheltering a small family. Extra-large, medium umbrellas & small umbrellas, even miniature umbrellas that hang on my gearshift.
We have umbrellas at the entrances and exits of our stores. In our home and garage.
It starts to sprinkle? I examine my umbrella inventory. (Perhaps something tasteful in navy blue?) Katrina? She’s a lovely woman. Sweet, kind to children, animals and, on most days, even husbands.
But she is also a Cleveland girl who lived in Texas for 10 years, so she’s tough. In 28 years, she’s never used an umbrella. Katrina simply walks outside. Downpour? Tropical storm? Category 2 hurricane? Same thing.
I’m under an umbrella with Katrina calmly beside me getting soaked. And smiling.
Not a nice visual for passersby.
They see a large, perfectly dry husband comfortably strolling beneath an umbrella with a thoroughly soaked wife completely exposed to the elements.
Then they look at me….judgment in their eyes.
“What kind of husband won’t give his wife the umbrella?” I want to explain: SHE WON’T TAKE IT. She refuses to use one. For 28 years, I’ve offered.
It could be raining sideways in the parking lot and Katrina would rather arrive at the restaurant looking like she swam there than share my umbrella…but she somehow arrives looking terrific.
So I ask you: Is it fair that I should suffer the scorn of strangers merely because I had the good sense to prepare for precipitation?
But people really do collect them—particularly antique umbrella and parasol handles.
Whether for rain or stature, the handles were sometimes miniature works of art. Some were topped with animals, flowers, figures or elaborate Art Nouveau or Deco designs.
Most bring $20 to $100 or so. A few exceptional pieces are shown here. You may have a rare one that could be worth thousands. If you do not, I may have a spare to lend you.
